Monday, May 6, 2013


(This is what I share when I speak at Mother/Daughter Banquets or brunches)


Psalm 139:13-18
 13 For you created my inmost being;
       you knit me together in my mother's womb.

 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.

 15 My frame was not hidden from you
       when I was made in the secret place.
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

 16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
       All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book
       before one of them came to be.

 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
       How vast is the sum of them!

 18 Were I to count them,
       they would outnumber the grains of sand.
       When I awake,
       I am still with you.

The theme is “Reflections”… Let’s see what the dictionary says about the word.

Reflection -  careful or long consideration or thought
a of meditation
Meditation -  a discourse intended to express its author's reflections or to guide thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result others in contemplation

So the reflections we have as Mothers should be something we’ve thought hard and long about and as a result, we can share or help others with what we’ve experienced or learned.

First of all, as we read Psalm 139 we have to know and believe that God has a purpose for each and every one of us.    Your life didn’t happen by chance or was a mistake.   Jeremiah 1:5 reads,   "Before I formed you in the womb I knew (or chose)  you,
       before you were born I set you apart;
       I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

He had and has a perfect plan for each and everybody’s life.   You are special.   You are ‘one-of-a-kind’.    Not to be confused with anyone else.   Unique.  No one’s like you or equal to you.   Accept that.   Realize how precious and special you are.

Moms----you were chosen to be that very special someone to the child or children you bore.     Daughters-----before the foundations of the earth, God had your name written down and knew every little thing about you.     Your hair color, skin tone, eye color, special features, height, weight (??) yes even our weight (He counts the hairs on our heads, so surely He must know the pounds..), and your  attitudes, behaviors… EVERYTHING!!!!   You are UNIQUE.      Accept that ladies.   You are everything God planned you to be.

There’s a song called “Find Us Faithful”.

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we’ve left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find.

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey.
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

What are you leaving behind for your children, your daughters?   You know God never expects perfection from us, because we’re not and we never will be.  All He wants from us is our faithfulness to Him.   And that’s the key.  You want to be that perfect mother??  Then, the main reflection that our children should have from us is that they knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus Christ is our Savior and God the Father is the Lord of our lives.. They should know that we’re there for them… praying for them… loving them unconditionally (as Christ loves us) accepting them for who they are and  not putting unrealistic expectations on them.

They are the one-of-a-kind unique creation that God has entrusted to us as Mothers.

I have had no greater joy than knowing that each of my children have accepted Jesus as their Savior..  that my grandchildren have followed in their parents footsteps… and I hope and pray that after I’m gone that they’ll be able to say without hesitation  or question that I loved them with all my heart unconditionally…  prayed for them… and loved Jesus above all!!

What greater legacy can we leave them??  I really know how hard it is.  Believe me, with 7 children entrusted to my care, was at times, overwhelming to say the least.  I would question the Lord each time I was pregnant… why another one??  Sometimes I can’t even handle the one or ones you’ve given me.   But I guess, or shall I say…. God DOES know what He’s doing.   Remember, He did create the world, right??

I just want to leave these final thoughts with you.

1.    Encourage the positive traits of your children.  Don’t always look  for and see the negative things they do.  Lift them up.  Tell them what a great job they’ve done.  It’s easy when they are little and they go potty and you clap for that accomplishment, high five them or give them some incentive treat…..   It does get harder as they get older to see it but purposely look for it and go out of your way to do it.

2.  Spend one-on-one time with each one.  Take time to plan with your hubby or parents or friends to help with the others so you can do something even as little as going for a walk with them or to the park or mall just with them!!  Or just talk to them.. OR let them talk while you listen.

3.  Teach them responsibility!  If you don’t, someday, they may be living with you and not have a clue as to what to do or how to handle daily situations. Ex. (doing laundry, fixing some meals, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, yard work, car repair)   Do it while they’re young.

4.  Try not to be such a perfectionist yourself.  Cut yourself some slack.  Take a long hot bath with candles and aroma therapy bath salts.. “Take me away, Calgon”.   If you don’t take time for yourself or take care of yourself, believe me  nobody else will and you won’t be as productive.

5.  And last, but not least, remember to let every part of your life be a spiritual experience for you and your family.  Teach them early about Jesus and how He must be an integral part of their daily lives. Sing songs with them about Jesus while they’re little… Share about His blessings and share your answered prayers with them to show them how real He is. 
Love Jesus with all your heart, soul, and mind!!!!

I would like to close with a few things to read to you that are especially a blessing to me.

Motherhood is now! The good and the bad of it.   The rewards and the trials. Tremendous pressures ware placed upon you as a mother, for you have been chosen to work with God in the awesome task of nurturing the priceless treasures God has given you.
As a mother, you accept your children’s faltering steps toward independence with discipline, humor, patience, and a tremendous amount of trust.   At times the struggles almost become an endurance contest.  You wonder if you can handle all the confusion another day:  the ringing phone, the broken dishes, the blaring television, the hurtful words.  High temperatures,  school, conferences, dentist appointments, rebellious tears.  Is there ever an end?
But suddenly in the mist of turmoil you catch a broad grin.   You feel a warm hug.   At bedtime somebody prays, “Thank you, God, for Mom and for chocolate chip cookies… and for love. “
You renew again your deep desire to create a genuine God hunger in your children.  God has chosen YOU for such a task as this.
“Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises hers:  “There are many virtious and capable women in the world,  but you surpass them all!!”
Proverbs 31: 28, 29

Finally, I want to share something very special with you.  I’m asked one question as I speak to various groups.  “How long til you quit being a Mother?”   Well, you’re a Mom til you die, and your heartstrings will always be attached to those babies whether they're here with you or in heaven.   

"The Cord"

We are connected, my child and I,
by an invisible cord not seen by the eye

It's not like the cord that connects us till birth.
This cord can't be seen by any on earth.

This cord does its work right from the start.
It binds us together, attached to my heart.

The strength of this cord is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed. It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord man could create.
It withstands the test. Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone, though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there but no one can see.

It pulls at my heart. I am bruised, I am sore.
But this cord is my lifeline as never before.

I am thankful that God connects us this way
A mother and a child, death can't take it away

A special ‘Reflection’ from my son, Tim (37 years old)

With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I have been thinking of you a lot this week and what it means to be a mom and raise a child.  Also, with the wedding season upon us I get to see a lot of ceremonies and two people committing to life together.  This led me to think of the similarities of wedding vows, and vows a mom gives to her child.

Here is an example:

I, your mom, take you, Tim to be my beautiful child. With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful Mother. Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first unto God rather than others or even you. I promise that I will lead our lives into a life of faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Ever honoring God's guidance by His spirit through the Word, And so throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful mom.

Now these vows are never said verbally, but are like an unspoken contract between mother and child the very first time their eyes meet on the day of their birth.  I believe you took these vows the day I was born and lived up to and exceeded each one.

There are so many moms that God could have lent me to, but I am so blessed that he lent me to you.  With your every day devotion, love, care, patience and direction I became the man that I am today.

Thank you for being my mom and my best friend.

I love you more today than ever, Happy Mother's Day!!!

Love your son,

Thank you  so much for allowing me to be with you and sharing and may  God bless you on your journey!!!!  And may the reflections of your heart keep you strong and happy and loving for many, many years to come. 

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